How to Get the Most From Your Therapy Sessions

Are you familiar with the phrase “work smarter, not harder?”  Today we’re going to talk about how that applies to therapy.  

You might agree with the idea that with many activities, you get out what you put into it.  To some degree, this is also true with therapy.  There are many (too many to count!) factors that influence how well someone does in therapy, but one factor is how motivated the client is and what they do with that motivation.  

I want to be clear here that if someone does not seem to be responding well to therapy, it is not their fault.  There are many large factors, some larger than your motivation, that have an impact on outcome, and those can sometimes be really, really hard to overcome.  How you engage in therapy is just one factor, but since it is a factor that we have some control over, it might be worth taking a look at it so that we can do what we can to maximize the potential benefit of that factor.  There are many factors that we can’t control, so influencing what we can may help put the odds more in our favor than they would be otherwise.  Doing that will of course not guarantee a particular result, but it can make it a bit more likely that you will achieve what you are wanting to. 

“Sometimes therapists and clients come up with their own patterns and routines for starting or ending sessions....  For example, some people start their session by rating their week on a scale from 1 to 10, or end their session by giving a summary...”

What you do before, during, and after therapy matters.  One thing I always tell my clients is to prepare for therapy before our session by thinking about the week and what came up during that time.  These could be events or situations that happened during the week, or even things that you were thinking about that aren’t necessarily relevant to what was going on in your life at the time.  Try to prioritize the list, so that when we have our session we are likely to get through as many of the things that feel important to you as we can.  Sometimes it is helpful to write this down, whether that is on paper or in your phone.

During therapy, try to stay as present and engaged as you can.  Some simple ways to do this are to silence and put away your phone, have no other distractions around you, and to focus on therapy rather than trying to multitask.  Bringing up items from the list you came up with earlier can be a good thing to come back to if you aren’t sure what to talk about.  What you are able to do in session will vary by the day and how you are feeling, so try to do your best with where you are at in the moment.

After therapy, it can be helpful to think of some of the things we talked about at various points in your week.  Some people like to write down things that stood out to them right after session, or just try to keep it in mind throughout the week.  If you were given homework, do as much of it as you can, and if you find yourself unable to do any of it, think about what is getting in the way.  Sometimes learning more about what is getting in the way can be just as valuable as the homework itself.  That said, your homework was likely given to you for a reason, so if you can get even a small part done, that is likely better than none at all.  You also might want to use the days following your therapy session to keep in mind anything that comes up (either in your current life or things that you have been thinking about) that you might want to bring up at your next session, so that you can remember them more easily when you are making your list before your next session.

There might be other things that help you to get as much as you can out of therapy.  Sometimes therapists and clients come up with their own patterns and routines for starting or ending sessions to help you to get the most out of them.  For example, some people start their session by rating their week on a scale from 1 to 10, or end their session by giving a summary of what was talked about.  Feel free to work with your own therapist to come up with things that work for you. 

All of the above suggestions help you to be more focused and intentional during and after sessions.  Sometimes when people don’t do these things, therapy can feel like it lacks direction or purpose, or it can be hard to think about what to spend time on until the session is almost over.  In addition, it is difficult to make progress when your sessions are the only times that you are working on your concerns.  Therapy is an investment in time, energy, and money.  Taking the above steps can make it more likely that you can take the most advantage of everything you put into it both  in session and outside of it.

(P.S. If you are a current client and would like to give feedback on how our sessions are going, but struggle with bringing it up in session, please feel free to email me with your feedback, or complete my survey, which you can find here. I’m always happy to do what I can to help our sessions to align with what you need!)